Christmas Eve Solo

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on It’s the night before Christmas and all through my house,Everyone’s sleeping, including my spouse.The stockings are hung but I gotta wrap shit,So just like this tree, I’m about to get lit. The kids passed out only an hour agoTime for me to play Santa: Ho-mother-fuckin-ho.Grab the scissors, the tape,… Continue reading Christmas Eve Solo


Photo by Dominika Roseclay on Twinkly lightsAnd candy canesBlack Friday shoppers gone insaneSanta’s comingHo Ho Ho!Gatlinburg’s phony snowExtra presents“Just in case”Like nose-hair trimmers in a travel caseOr plaid potholdersFrom the dollar store(I would’ve tried harder, if I liked you more)Christmas cardsFrom distant relationsNo one RSVP’d toMy invitations100-dollar Christmas treesHarry & David salami and cheese16… Continue reading Christmas

A Marvelous Time

Photo by Inga Seliverstova on “I’m hosting a party, December the 9th,At exactly a quarter to eight.I’ll have oysters, fois gras, and of course caviar,It’s black tie, so please don’t be late.” Such simple instructions, printed so clearly,On the invites I sent out last week.Show up, have some food, drink some wine, have a… Continue reading A Marvelous Time