~Breakfast tacos so good, people don’t care they’re being sold at a gas station
~Falling asleep again
~Wish I had coffee and a nap
~Asleep again. And again! A MILLION TIMES!
~A house covered in coke tabs.
~New Braunfels is an old German town settled on the San Marcos River. Population about 35,000. Gets very high in summer & on weekends. Has a German flair to it – German food and festivals. Wurstfest. I am fruit Darling. Nothing makes sense b/c I keep falling asleep! Fuck! I’m such a… I just fell asleep again! It’s like I’m under attack! I can’t help it & I fear I’m going to embarrass myself. I did it AGAIN! I need help. I can’t keep my eyes open for longer than 30 seconds & long… AGAIN! TO DO: Write the history of the place. The HISTORY. And QUIT IT!
~Tom: A quiet man, balding, thin, glasses, tweed sport coat
~Terry: Former dentist, likes football & will talk too long about beer
~Bobby-Ann: Milquetoast, thin, shriveled, gray hair cut, not into a shape, just cut, severe part to one side, cardigan, a chin that blends into her neck
~Elizabeth: The Grandma. Farrah Fawcett hair style, round cheeks, smells like apple pie and cookies, frowns when black people are mentioned
~Oh my god, these people are so boring!
~Good writers, but poor speakers
*Become a famous writer so that YOU can give better responses*
~live 5 minutes away/ had to circle campus for 30 to find building
~went up 1-way street to find recycling truck coming down. Blocked.
~finally found the parking lot and the ONE sign, 5 minutes before Start
~ask a student about building, she doesn’t know anything
~man at registration was over it. First session was boring.
~I asked the question about NaNoWriMo, no one knew what it was
~water bottle spilled in purse
~no service inside building
~shirt came un-hooked AND unwrapped
~first bathroom was being cleaned. Had to walk across building to pee.
~got blood on my hands
~hair is frizzy (humidity)
~2nd session better – louder/livlier
~woman won’t stop making bird noises & woodland creature noises
~ask question of 2nd panel – worst books ever? Little/no response (although an author who was in the audience answered)
~It’s amazing that I have any friends at all, much less a husband, b/c all I am is awkward & confusing to other people. But fuck them.
~Sat alone at a table for 8, 1/2 hoping someone would come along & I could make a new writer friend, but that’s not going to happen because it NEVER happens
~After lunch: Derthick Hall. Where TF is Derthick Hall? Not on map or in pamphlet
*Tell SW about their FUCKING LOUSY DIRECTIONS*
~I am falling asleep. HELP!
~I keep doing it. Maybe if I keep writing I wo… Nope.
~I wish I had gum or mints or something at all that I could poo… ->What? I…No! It happened again! Well, at least I have this pen & paper to write on so that when I fall asleep, I at least look like I’m writing or taking notes/reading what I’ve written. Ah! What shitty ha…
~I parked shitty the first time, so when I went to retrieve my phone, I fixed it, which will mean that the person who parked behind me now looks like an idiot.
~I am the first person in the lecture hall. By 1/2 an hour, probably.
~2 men discussing their beards: “Mine is soft. It’s head hair, not beard hair. Most people’s beards are real rough and coarse, but mine is silky.”
~Lights turned off as I sat in hall. Motion-sensored.
~Second session microphone has bad reverb. Every breath sounds like a Dalek.
~I am not a normal human
~Person (in a) Place (with a) Problem
~Wake up! Quit falling asleep! You!
~Make the most of your 45 minutes. Don’t be lazy. If you want to write, write.
~Tomorrow never comes; It’s always Today.
~Don’t write tomorrow! Write today!
~Write a book like a symphony: quiet LOUD quiet LOUD
~I am the only person in the room who doesn’t know anyone else. There isn’t a single person in this room who knows the sound of my voice.
~Make sure you focus on a person or a problem right away.
~Write EVERY DAY!
~Don’t fall asleep! Stay Awake!
~Oh my god I can’t even stay awake while I’m writing. Too little sleep/not enough coffee. A little bit bored. Calvin needs a haircut. Keep writing. Don’t fall asleep. This is important. Question time. Stay awake. Stop being shitty! You’re making yourself look stupid & being disrespectful to the authors! Kate Landers will be the guestnote speaker. Keynote speaker.
~Keynote Speaker, 2022: Kate Landers
~Become a better writer! Sell your shit. Damnit. Damnit. What kinds of notes are these?? Get more sleep tonight!
~Keynote with Wendell Berry
~The air conditioning is an antique, forcing air from its vents that turns into a true wind & blows the stage curtains like waves. At first I thought the actors behind were having trouble finding their way out.
~An old man wears a hoodie with his hands shoved down into his pockets. Underneath, his T-shirt declares “Black Lives Matter.” I realize that most of these gray-and-white-headed people are flower children, born in the 40s & 50s. They came of age in the era of civil rights & sexual liberation.
~I see one person I know – someone I’ve met several times, actually. But I know that she does not know me. I don’t bother to reintroduce myself. I’ve already ignored 2 people I know better than her this week.
~I know when I’m about to cry because a sour, wet pang blooms behind my eyeballs, the same way my salivary glands bubble forth at the threat of a sour candy.
~giraffe tastes like beef/hippo tastes like pork