Irony, adj. Behaving like a heated, triangle-shaped hunk of metal.
Ostracism, n – the worship of large, flightless birds
Exposition, n. The precise location of a former lover.
Flotilla, n – a naval unit of Mexican flat breads
Protagonist, n. A person who supports the labeling of garments.
Verb Tense, n. pl. What authors pack when they want to spend time in the woods.
Contemplate, n – an easy way to format your own inmate
Decoy, v – to cease all flirting once you realize your Tinder match is actually your boss
Dilapidate, v – when your night on the town falls apart piece by piece
Worcestershire, n – where all the tasty little marinated Hobbits live
Rankle, n – the smelly part of your leg between your shin and foot
Rehearse, v – the action taken when a coffin falls out the back of a car
Sarcasm, n – the vast amount of space between what the speaker said and what she actually meant
Stalemate, n – a friend who has reached his expiration date
Malapropism, n. A mental condition in which the patient believes themselves to be a wicked object used on the set of a play or movie.
Capable, adj – empowered with the ability to wear a short, sleeveless cloak
Commodious, adj – describes the pleasantly tuneful sound of a toilet flushing
Syntax, n. The amount you feel you ought to put in the collection plate after what you did last night.